Save Me From Myself
by ImAnInspiredFan
Summary: Bella just wants to feel good butterflies about someone. Jasper just wants to be there for a girl. Can they find a happily ever after? Can Bella get over her family troubles? And can Jasper move on from his past relationships? Please give it a chance!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey okay, so I know I haven't been on here in ages, but this new story just popped into my head. I had to write it and will keep on writing until this one is finished I promise. This is just kind of a little started chapter to see what you guys think. So please let me know whether I should continue! **

I'm scared. Too scared to do what I want. To live the life I see all my friends living. I know sometimes that I can be selfish but so can everyone in the world. I just want to be able to do my own thing. I do wrong, I know I do, and sometimes I do things I'm not supposed to do. However the world I live in is not somewhere I want to stay. I want to escape from here and live my life the way I want to. I can't wait until I'm old enough to leave this place and enter the world for myself, I understand it will be hard at first because everyday I here about the problems my mother faces, I understand. I really do. The things I sometimes wish are not the nicest and sometimes I will tell myself off for having such terrible thoughts, but in the end I can't help myself and do it again and again. Dreaming about the possibilities of a new life.

These thoughts all came to me on the 21st of September after my mother threatened me. I understand why she did it, I shouldn't have spoke to her the way I did, but everytime she shouts at me I get butterflies in my stomach and not the good kind. I'm scared of her, I'm scared that everytime she threatens me it won't just be a threat. I know I should think myself lucky to even have a family at all, with love and such things but sometimes the hardship I feel in the family; it outways the good. Sometimes I just want for my parents to see me for who I am, not hout at me for being someone I'm not. I compose myself, change and hide parts of myself so I can make them proud of me, make everyone in my family proud of me. I try my best in school, I want to be able to make a better life for myself and I know that to do that I will need to get my grades I want.

I love my family so much, but sometimes all I can think is that I live in the background and sometimes when I strike out I think it's just cause I want to get noticed more. I feel like my grandparents are always there for me, they've never stopped there support and sometimes when my nanna asks me about my grades at school and about my homework I'm not very enthusiastic in my response because I keep hoping that one day that will be my parents response instead. The response I feel they give my brothers more often than me.

All these emotions inside me, I've found it's not good to keep them locked up inside myself. This is why I Isabella Marie Swan am writing all this down for you. Hoping somewhere out there you'll hear me and understand my pain. The writing has helped me.

Forever, Bella. x

That was the first time I had to write down my feelings. Not the first time I wanted to but the first time I ever did. Overtime something happens like this again, I told myself I will now write it down. To let all of my emotions out and so I won't have to keep them locked up inside me anymore. I'm 15 years old. My name is Isabella Marie Swan; and this is my story.

**So that's it please leave a review and tell me what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Hey guys, so I know this is only my second chapter, but some feedback would be appreciated! So please leave a review, thanks! :)**

Today was just like any other day, well it started out like any other day. Until I found out that we were moving. To Forks, Washington. We currently live in Arizona and apparently, Forks is how shall I put this; always under the weather. I love the sun, you would never be able to tell from my pale skin but it's true. So the fact that Forks is hardly ever sunny was just a small fact of why I do not want to move. No matter where we go though I suppose my life will never change anyway so for now it doesn't matter.

I had just finished packing up my belongings; consisting of some clothes, many books, my laptop and guitar. Pretty much all that I cared to take with me. Most of my stuff I've had for years anyway, but I think the thing I'll miss the most is my grand-parent. This move means I won't be able to see them whenever I want and our relationship will be constricted to mear phone calls.

"Bella? Are you nearly ready?" Ah and that would be Phil. My step-dad. Although we aren't allowed to really call him that. Both him and mum find it highly inappropriate seen as though he has filled the 'father' figure role since I was little. My real dad; Charlie died when I was 10, although I haven't had much contact with him since a very young age, which I can only remember bits and pieces of anyway. My parents don't like to talk about that either; but then again I don't either so it's fair game. They only talk about him in a bad light anyway, and all I remember is the good so it's for the best.

"Yes, I'm coming!" Oh my. We're actually leaving, the thought is very scary. Wow. I grab my things and head downstairs, unfortunately bumping into Sam and Paul on the way downstairs. Sam and Paul are my brothers, Sam's 18 and Paul's at the innovative age of 10 (Well, innocent enough) nearly 11. Paul's really only our half brother, but we don't class him as it.

And so Paul starts...

"Watch where your going!"

"Well I would if you moved your bags, your blocking the corridor!" and Sam.

"Am not!" Paul.

"Are too!" Sam.

"Not." Paul.

Ahh. What love we have for each other.

"Guys shut up and move your in the way!" Uh oh. I shouldn't have said that.

"Shut up! Before you even start or else!" So now mum decides to intervene.

"But-" Yes, I wouldn't have tried to but in then Paul. I know your mummies baby but she's on one.

"No Paul no buts! We are leaving, and I don't want you all arguing in the car!" Ha! Inside I was laughing to myself. She only doesn't want us arguing because her and Phil will no doubt be at it all the way there anyway. Thankgod for music. Hopefully my phone battery will last that long. Since I don't have an Ipod (always wanted one, but so far have never been able to afford one of my own) I listen to music on my phone, usually it lasts a couple hours if I'm on it constant.

As we all piled into the car, I thanked whatever God that is out there for us having a 7 seater, meaning luckily I managed to persuade the 'rents to let me have a seat up and sit in the back on my own. Luckily all the small luggage fit in the other side. So I buckled up, plugged my headphones in and settled down for the ride ahead.

All the way there the passing traffic and bickering of Sam and Paul, the side seat driving of mum causing the arguments all faded into the background as I let myself be immersed into the wonderful sounds of music. I have what some would say a weird taste in music. However, it's personal to me and I don't share it with people often, my guitar music for one thing, I only ever played to my music teacher. I love Simple Plan, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Katy Perry, Scooter, Paramore. My favorite song at the minute is Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

I must have fallen asleep as the next thing I knew we had arrived.

Not moments after jumping out of the car, Sam and Paul started play fighting. Now this doesn't seem like something out of the ordinary, except last time they were play fighting things went a little to far and mum gave Sam a warning to leave Paul alone from now on. This time was no different, but really Paul brings it upon himself; squaring upto Sam, and sometimes I think Sam forgets his own strength, even when he is just trying to restrain Paul. Mum finally noticed what was happening, I was unsure how to approach or comprehend the situation as normally when this sort of thing happens I would be safely locked up in the sanctuary of my room. Is it any wonder really that my dad calls me camper when stuff like this happens, I rather be holed up in my room than participate in this madness.

I could hear mum shouting the warnings, but it all sounded so far away. Like I was having an outer body experience. This was the first time, or rather I should say the first time that I remember of; that I've ever really seen my mother hit someone. Sam had ignored her wanrings, and when he finally listened, mum blew up like a volcano erupting. It was scary to see how pissed she was, she could elict fear in the most deadly of creatures, and I never wanted that to be aimed at me. Which is exactly when I keep my head down and try to behave, just until I leave then I will be free. Moments like these is when I remember that.

I've noticed that when parents want an answer, they will ask a quesiton; but if you do answer, they will blow up at you for answering back, trying to seem big, interrupting them; however if they ask a question and you don't reply you will get shouted at for being rude, ignorant and not having an answer and just standing there. It means that which ever approach you chose you'll never win.

The fact that my mother uses violence and threats; like throwing my brother new computer in the bin. I find that if I was ever a parent, I know what I would and wouldn't do. I would remember these emotions my mother has inflicted on us and whether I would ever want to be the cause for another human being feeling them.

The sound seemed to echo off my brothers skin. I felt pity, almost sorry for him. I'm starting to feel as if I understand him so much more. But now was not the time. It scared me. Both when it happened and after; the fact that everything seemed to be fine 10 minutes later boggled my mind. Although I found I did not want to stay around long enough to know what would happen next or be near my mother at the minute. My farther seemed rather passive on the subject, but again I didn't stick round long enough to see if he would voice his views. I simple took what little luggage I had and snuck inside to find the suitable room, leaving everyone else to try and play happy families, however after that display; I don't think I wanted to be in this family.

**A/N - Okay guys, so kinda sad that I didn't get any reviews on my first chapter but please let me know what you thought and if I should continue! :)**


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